In working with couples, I have focused on helping couples be more present and enhancing real contact. Knowing what you feel and why is the first step. Then being able to allow your partner to know you as you know yourself connects you powerfully. We call this "mentalizing." It is also very difficult to be so vulnerable. Being fully present in your experience to be ultimately enlivening, and extremely difficult. Being aware of and expressing your sensations, emotions, intentions, and thoughts, allows others to see me more completely, and thus allows contact. It also allows others to connect with you more directly.
If you are mentalizing, you are not engaging in destructive forms of communication, such as blaming, name-calling, criticizing, shaming, etc. Mentalizing is all about what is going on inside your skin, not objective reality. The need to be right can be a setup for needless conflict. Sometimes, using "I" statements is all that is needed to get a couple unstuck. At the very least you can get to the real issues between you.
I have found that ordinary people are able to achieve extraordinary results by using these very simple and very difficult techniques. By pressing themselves into this mode of communication, they become more fully themselves, and they invite the same from those around them.
Sexual problems are difficult for many people to discuss openly because they are so connected to self-concept and self-esteem. I can support you in approaching this delicate area.
Financial issues can present challenges for individuals, couples and families. Issues surrounding values, disparities in wealth between spouses and/or other family members, isolation, and trust can create significant stress and unhappiness. My approach helps you navigate these difficult waters.